Ecstatica

written by Tlotli, #bearpoet.

My happy place

far from this world and its noxious toxins,

its false promises, deceit and lustful desire,

a place admired for its flawless innocence

where adulation met love and combusted into an everlasting fire

 

its red ruby flaming arms caress and rock you

as you’re consumed by its melodious lullabies

which no mother ever dared to sing

and no infant to hear

 

in this dimension so diversely ferverse

rich in untainted desire

i lay my head and like im on drugs

im teleported past  the heavens, higher and higher

 

this place ever so serene

better than the world and all its charms

Ecstatica, my favourite place to be

is right here – in your arms.

 

21 Texts: Part II

dear you,

please teach me how to not be afraid? of you, me, the world, voices.

what do you do to motivate yourself in the morning? please teach that to me. i promise i won’t waste your time because i am a fast learner and i am quiet and i observe. whats it like to live without fear?

old people. they are not afraid to die, why? is it because they have fully enjoyed the ride of space and time? the idea that to leave this earth, they will have to experience pain is not scary to them, they just laugh and say “death is but a short sleep”.

heaven is up there, that I know. but I want to stop being afraid. and you’re afraid too, you once told me and you’re thinking about it. always talking about escaping, always thinking about it.

what was/is it that made/makes you happy?

i am most happy when i watch the stars. maybe because i want to travel or i want to escape. whatever my reason is, the universe knows.

you make me happy too, because even though you don’t speak, i learn way too much from you and your silence is a great experience. i was told that wisdom is attained through silence. and that is why i am always quiet and always thinking and always observing.

and even though i sign my letters to you with different names, you know that it is me.

and i thank you for this and that. and everything.

i still need you to teach me to stop being afraid. and I will teach you too.

i am young and you are too, if we learn from each other, we’ll pass this too. cool.

 

sincurly,

wueva wrote diz.

 

ps: i run with bears. i roll with bears. bear this in mind: you are cool. thank you.

21 Texts: Part I

dear friend,

today I’m writing a letter to you and me, but its not necessarily for me since i already know what this encasing of sentences shall hold.

right now, I’m listening to Little Dragon – Twice. twice times two. i figured i should write this letter because i am afraid of the power of the tongue so i write because words have a lesser effect on paper/internet/webpages.

i need to ask you something – what is my purpose? i was told to never leave home without it but i can’t seem to find it. I once went out to see people with my purpose in my pocket and it kinda fell out so i was wandering if you can help me look for it. i know we live distances apart but what it went to find you so you can find me?

i am 1 in every thought that you might think and you might think i am crazy or insane or weird but its true because it’s the same thing with you.

people keep saying ‘be you’ and i say it too but how do you tell someone to be themselves if you in the morning wake up looking like the people around you. there is no ‘real nigga’ or ‘the real me’, its an endless line of recycled personalities.

i learned that i am a human being. that might seem strange but i not many people know that they are human, they are so focused on impressing and keeping up with nothing that its taking their everything.

i learned that God shaped tears the way he shaped raindrops but he did not create rainbows to come out of our eyes because he wanted to remind us that whatever struggle, pain, shame we’re only human and that is ok. that is good.

and i hope you realise that i write in lowercase. this is how i make myself feel good.

i learned that my voice is voiced through written word and the only way i can get you to listen is to have you read.

i know that you’re a human, with a face and a body and a soul. and that Heaven is watching over you.

i know that you’re 1 in every thought that i think. right now, I’m listening to Little Dragon – Twice. i strike a heart with an arrow and a bow, whatever you take from me surely you will forever know. you and i will forever glow.

i don’t want to be called a writer (because too people now use this ‘title’ to compete/impress and art to me isn’t competition or impression) . we can use it for reference, but you should know that i am merely a kid who constructs sentences for a living. steady living.

i know that politicians tell people the ‘truth’ and i wrote that in apostrophes because I was trying to be sarcastic.

i fell on my head but i didn’t lose.

 

sincurly,

me.

undertitled. whuteva.

day 1 of never. something, nothing, everything.

i cant be a part of two until i am a better one. (so freakin’ weird, man)

thuggin’ missions, forever, son. by the way, i am not a thug. i’d probably get sliced for all that.

got to remind myself that there is no this without that. get that – Kenzadore signed. please tell me why do people fall inlove? like that shit must hurt.

first things first:

  1. I am in a good space
  2. The universe or whatever you call it has it made
  3. I got writers block in this heavy, heavy head. That’s heavy. You get me?

second things first:

  1. why hasn’t Sampha released an album yet? I haven’t heard great music in an entire while.
  2. i’m forever hungry/learning

yo, writing is an experience. so much feelings. and I feel that I got a lot to throw out buuut y’know? y’all like talking too much.

and by the way, I found my confidence 48 hours ago when I was doing a speech in English class.” Greatest ting. Ever.” (read that with a Jamaican accent)

you’ll feel so cool. I don’t promise you that.

you might be confused right now but im telling you. It all makes sense, in my head.

i’m rushing through it, whatever. whenever. wherever.

give a piece for a little peace. got my 9mm piece. sheesh.

 

sincurly,

whoever wrote thiz.

Tutankhamun

tutankhamun, children of God we’re all kings

set aside all the differences, we all sing

the same song and in Heaven we all belong

they say love is kind and eternal

but i find journals filled with hate and words written uncareful

like a green paper filled tongue of a greedy man’s sermon.

 

streets are breathing diseases and faces change like seasons

love is running low and love is hiding underground waiting

for the world to play better tunes.

dont you think its better to, to better you, run through fresh land

and look on better views?

as an artist you’re king. tutankhamun.

 

tutakhamun, children of Life you’re all kings.

i sit and wish for a better day where better ways are

better made and clouds start showering us with better rain.

 

as an artist you’re a king. tutankhamen, children of Love you’re all kings.

Happens

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why do i explain things to people when

they leave my tongue full of razor marks designed by lies?

why do i find poetry interesting if the only thing

it does to me is hurt the muscles in my fingers?

i stay up late at night, when pens stop speaking and papers stop

listening, when poets obsess over 2am.

i dont have the answers, so i wont tell you lies.

i see you in  the dark, ’cause i’ve been where you are.

my hands are fresh with scars, reminders that

im just clay and knives can easily create form

out of me.

i’ve learned that the world has accepted pain

as beauty.

i’ve learned that poets are now starting to romanticize pain.

i’ve learned that on twitter, people replace vowels with v’s & x’s

and depress themselves with sad quotes until it hurts their chests.

its quiet easy to say that the world is a mess,

feeding our brains with junk served by television sets,

believing everything the internet says,

and the only way to change this is to change our mindsets.

but as always, this is easier said.

ignorance is acceptance as a standard.

reading a book makes your eyes bleed, ’cause you’re not used to written word.

we fill tongues with mud and wash hearts in dirt.

we think money is love, and love is power, but the

only thing money can buy is tears and material possessions and empty hearts.

we see each other as black & white but we forget that aside from the

difference in pigment we’re still human.

we forget that our skin is fragile yet we still pierce one another

with 30 caliber bullets.

i dont have the answers so i wont tell you lies.

let it happen.

we think rain and thunder is a sign of a new season but

its God crying out and telling us that

we’re suffering at our own hands.

men hurt women too much nowadays, and women play games with men

nowadays and haemens start to break as much as hearts do.

and the words ‘i do’ sound like a jingle from a cereal ad,

it leaves people mad,

and people sad.

while all this happens, i’ll be out running with bears.

just for a smile.

saw this on Angelfire. decided to post ’cause it fits right now.

i’ve got a one track mind
and girl you’re running thru it
one glance and i was hooked
girl how did you do it?

my mind was mesmerised
by a cinnamon princess
wondering what it would take
to make you my female
with twenty-twenty vision
i watch from afar

i’ve got a one track mind
and girl you’re running thru it
one glance and i was hooked
girl how did you do it?

my mind was mesmerised
by a cinnamon princess
wondering what it would take
to make you my female
With twenty-twenty vision
i watch from afar

nights seem to be getting darker
you must be a falling star
id even stand in the pouring rain
for thirty days
just to get a glance
just to get a chance

to find out about that thing called romance
but im just too shy
i keep letting you walk on by
i know you’ve seen me staring
and you wonder why

but today that all changed
i was finally able to speak
the brilliance of your beauty
was enough to make you weak

i know you were confused
when i said hi and walked away
well just the vision of your smile
was enough to brighten up my day

and i thank you

Teddy Bear Tribe.

careful where you step.

i want to go along the path of high resistance.
i want to provoke and push buttons.
without a care to where i step.
and no idea to where i go next.

i don’t want to try and be “real” because everybody is doing that and i don’t want to be like everybody. no.
i want to think aloud but not through voice, but through my piano keys.
people hear music more than they do to speech.
and, and i’d like to be so vibrant that the direction due to which i move, shakes the world in great magnitudes.

if im always careful as to where i step.
i’ll never know where i can go next.

im obviously not it my right mind, but that’s okay.
because at the end of the day, i’ll always have something crazy to say.

im not going to be careful anymore.
nah, nah, nada.

sincurlyxbaki

Teddy Bear Tribe.

from the deep end of things, with love.

I asked myself over a warm cup of tea, “what kind of beauty is there in finding mystery in myself?”
I took a little sip, and had more thoughts.
And so I scribbled, a few words on a piece of paper.
a fine day indeed to be playing Thelonious Monk,
one of my favorite Jazz pianists.
y’know, his music has a certain type of soul to it, something inviting about it. I dunno.

with that cup of tea still in hand, I listened to the ocean dance while Monk rushed over the piano keys.

that cup of tea smelled like years of fear and peace to come.
that cup of tea reminded me of the first time I burnt my finger with a candle when I was still a kid.
that cup of tea reminded me of my first love.

it reminded me that I’m still 17, it also tasted like conversations I had with friends about girls we’d never have.
“that girl. she’s the one, you’d probably have a chance with her. say something, you shy mo’fo.”
but then again it wasn’t about probability.

it tasted like 5AM in the morning after your first breakup.
it tasted like 4PM when you wrote your first poem.
it tasted like bitterness.

the tea tasted like my love for things that have aged.
’65 Mustangs and inked pages.
ripped jeans and new faces.
jazz music and new places.

its funny what tea can do one’s mind once it burns your tongue and runs down your oesophagus to warm your lungs.

Monk’s music in the background, I still scribbled words on a piece of paper.
if only this moment could linger.

cup of tea, cup of tea, what type of flavor did you leave in me?

see, when i stare at this cup, it seems as if it holds unneccessary emptiness.
but can still hold my deepest desires in liquid form – a warm cup of tea.

I probably wrote all of this after I burnt my tongue with tea.
but then again, this isn’t about probability.

this is from the deep of things, with love.

sincurlyxbaki

Teddy Bear Tribe.